First Impressions

When I’m meeting new people at the beach, I like to let them know who I am quickly. Since they don’t know who I am yet, I want them to know important details about me. So I might tell them my name, how often I surf, the beaches I visit, the kinds of waves I like, or anything else that might be useful to them. Because these new friends are just meeting me for the first time, it’s safe to assume that they won’t know anything about me at first. I want to be helpful to my new friends, so I briefly give them what they need to know.

The same is true when you’re writing an introductory paragraph. Many people get easily frightened by the blank page and feel like they don’t know where to begin writing. This is normal. However, once you start writing, the blank space becomes smaller and easier to manage.

The purpose of the introduction is to introduce your main idea to your audience. In an introductory paragraph, you’ll generally want to mention your topic to the reader. If there’s any important background information that the audience needs to know, it’s a good idea to explain it briefly so they can follow the conversation. Eventually, you may want to end your intro with your thesis statement, which explains why you’re writing the essay and the message you want them to receive.

When deciding what information to include, think about the needs of your audience. Unless you know that the audience you’re writing for understands your topic, always be clear with your explanations. When in doubt, assume that you’re meeting your reader for the first time and that they don’t know anything about your topic. Just as in a conversation, make sure that your purpose is clear and that your reader is interested in what you have to say.

Remember, the introduction is your first impression to the reader, so always put your best foot forward.

Speaking of first impressions, here is a shot of what greets students who enter the Stone Writing Center.

We hope our first impression speaks welcome. Come by and let us know what you think.

See you next time the breeze is cool, the sun is up, and the waves roll into view! ‘Til then, hang ten!

After Brainstorms

Circles with words inside them and connected to other words - how can brainstorming be used once the ideas are drawn and written on the page? One possibility is to turn a brainstorming session into an outline and then derive a thesis from the two. I’ll start with a cluster map, one brainstorming technique:

I plan to write a short paper, a few paragraphs about stress and the times people can feel the effects of stress. My first thoughts in the outer circles include a couple of concrete nouns, actual places - work and school, and also a couple of abstract nouns - life and time. Already, I see that I need details and examples for the two concrete nouns - work and school; and I’ve also thought of using time and life as cohesive ideas throughout the paper as well as a major part of my thesis. Just as an example, my next circles are in the format of a flow chart:

My brain has already jumped ahead to a possible conclusion – spend some time at the beach to enjoy life – but that will still help me write an outline, at least a working outline for now as I think further about a thesis. A diagram with some pizzazz suits my mood, even if a real brainstorming session would probably be more consistent in the type of figures or graphics used:

As I sketch out a working outline, I know that there will be additions, revisions, more ideas to come before the essay is written. For now, though, a general idea of how the essay can be planned is all I need to get started.

Working Outline:

 I.                    Introduction

Tentative Thesis:  Although juggling work and school can cause stress, taking time to relax - perhaps by heading directly to the beach to renew energy - helps keep life in balance.

II.         Causes of stress

A. School

    1. Papers due

    2. Reading assignments

B. Work

    1. Finances

   2. Coworkers

III.        Coping with stress

             A. Time management

 B. Relaxation and renewal

   IV.     Conclusion

See you next time the breeze is cool, the sun is up, and the waves roll into view! ‘Til then, hang ten!

Welcoming a New Semester from a New Location

A glorious summertime at the beach must recede to memory as fall begins anew with a return to literature and essays and thoughts of grammar. I’m ready to enjoy a fresh start, a new semester. To emphasize the beginning of a new academic year, the Stone Writing Center is up and running in a brand new location: the 4th floor of the White Library on the East Campus of Del Mar College. We welcome returning students and students who are attending Del Mar College for the first time this fall with hopes that all will visit the SWC. The 4th floor of the White Library provides a spacious, inviting environment in which to conduct the many services that the SWC offers.  

Students who have already visited the SWC report that their writing does improve, along with their grades, because they find here the opportunity to discuss their papers with Writing Consultants who know and love writing and can assist students with the process of writing. In addition to in-person advice about writing, the SWC also provides computers for students to use, Boot Camps for any who have questions about grammar, on-line tutoring, and one-hour labs. Student Assistants at the SWC are happy to answer questions and to schedule appointments.

All of us are here to make your college experience more productive, more enjoyable and even easier. Call (361) 698-1364 or come by the 4^th floor of the White Library to find a warm and friendly atmosphere which is conducive to creativity, a place where writing becomes one of the best of your college experiences, as it should be.

Don’t forget to read a few blogs, too, ones posted previously and more to come this semester. Information about grammar and writing may not be quite as much fun as surfing the waves and relaxing on the beach, but it has its moments.

See you next time the breeze is cool, the sun is up, and the waves roll into view! ‘Til then, hang ten!

Overcoming Sensory Deprivation

When taking a stroll on the beach, I always relax and absorb the details around me. I hear the soft rustling of the wind, feel the grains of white sand scrape against my feet, and inhale the fresh scent of the ocean. I don’t simply go to the beach. Instead, I become one with my environment. I understand the beach, and become aware of everything going on during my time there.


Writing a narrative essay works in much the same way. A narrative presents a snapshot in time, where it illustrates a place or sequence of events. Think of this as telling an autobiographical story set during a certain place and time during your life. However, a narrative must do more than simply tell what happened; it must also bring that setting to life for your readers.

A good narrative enriches the senses, and allows the reader to visualize what the setting is like. To do this, the writer uses words that invoke the five senses. While we can never taste the salty sea air or feel the blazing heat of a tropical sun if we’ve never experienced them, we can imagine what it’s like to be there. Sensory detail allows the reader to imagine what it was like to share that experience and immerse the reader into the narrative. The writer must open the door to the reader’s imagination.

Before you sit down to write the essay, relive the experience in your own memory. Try to recall, as much as you can, what the experience was like. Think in terms of each of the five senses, and try to remember details that appeal to the senses. Visual details are useful, but try to imagine any memorable smells or flavors or sounds as well. If it helps, make notes about what details you’d like to use. If you have references, such as photos or video recordings, make use of those as needed.

When actually writing the essay, you want to translate your mental picture of the event into written form. One way to do this is by using vivid descriptive words, such as adjectives and adverbs, to create detail. It’s not enough to say that the wave reached the shore. The wave might be a sickly green, or a serene blue, depending on the circumstances. By using strong details, the picture becomes more distinct in the reader’s mind.

Another way to create a vivid mental image is to use strong active verbs. Avoid using “to be” verbs if possible, since those tend to weaken the narrative. Use verbs that show action and movement. For instance, “the wind buffeted the tumbleweed across the desolate plain. The furious waves crashed against the forlorn rocks.” A good action verb can bring a scene to life and create a dramatic moment, instead of a still, lifeless picture.

When writing a narrative essay, remember to tell your story with vivid detail. Through careful and precise word choice, the narrative should come to life and engage the reader.

See you next time the breeze is cool, the sun is up, and the waves roll into view! ‘Til then, hang ten!

Rephrasing

“Killer waves!” says Roxy.

“Gotcha,” says the dude.

Most of us have heard that we should write the way we talk, but the way we talk is often not what we need for college writing because we’re filling in blanks and using phrases or slang easily understood by our friends.

Academic writing requires a different way of speaking, and there are conventions used for college essays that are not typical of everyday speech (or writing emails, letters, notes, diaries, or Tweets.)

The following ideas may help to transmogrify a paper from casual to college level.

•Remove contractions – use "do not" instead of "don’t," for example.
•Replace slang with other words that have the same meaning.
•Use third person pronouns (he, she, they, them, it, etc.) instead of second person pronouns (you, your, yourself).
•Omit unnecessary words, filler: Well, as I was saying about extra words, it might be good to delete them.
•Triple check all punctuation. You may also need to review other grammar rules, which is worth the time it takes.

Translating from a casual style to a college level style may be simpler than it initially seems.

“The waves are suitable for surfing,” Roxy observed.

“I understand,” replied her friend.

See you next time the breeze is cool, the sun is up, and the waves roll into view! ‘Til then, hang ten!

Tiny Mistakes

Details, the small bits that can easily be overlooked, may turn an A paper into a B or a C paper. A few typos here, an extra comma there, an omitted word or two, and the superlative sentence you composed in your mind has landed on the page in a less than stellar form, perhaps as a fragment or run on.

Our minds are very kind to us when we read our own writing, sometimes even automatically correcting errors for us, at least as far as we perceive; sadly, though, the corrections our minds make for us do not change a typo on the page at all. We think we’ve spelled a word correctly, used the right punctuation, but the fact is that in the real world, the error remains unless we actually see it and change it.

It is necessary to go outside general habits of mind when editing/proofreading a paper. Hyper vigilance, super consciousness, something akin to the Zen of writing is needed to find tiny mistakes.

Reading your own writing as if someone else entirely wrote the paper allows you to achieve an objective state of mind. Expecting errors and searching every line for them is another way to become extra aware. And even then, more is required to find and fix all minuscule mistakes – you have to look at every letter of every word, too.

Tedious as such attention to detail may seem, you might turn it into a sort of game, a challenge. You could keep score for a few papers by noting how many errors you made, found, and corrected to see if the number of errors decreases as your ability to find them increases.

There’s no need to go to excruciating extremes (like reading every word from the right to left to check spelling - unless you really and truly want to do so). Still, taking time to verify what is and isn’t actually on the page does matter. Likewise, if I just think I’ve packed corn chips for the seagulls before I head to the beach, they’d all be disappointed if I made the mistake of not actually having tasty treats ready to toss their way.

Give your writing a second and third look, double and triple check it to make sure the clear and perfect sentences you have composed in your thoughts are, in fact, on the page exactly as you think they are.

See you next time the breeze is cool, the sun is up, and the waves roll into view! ‘Til then, hang ten!

Who is Cheating Whom?

Nearly every student has heard of plagiarism, which is copying another’s work without giving that person credit; but for anyone tempted to cut corners and cheat in that manner (someone unaware of Turnitin.com evidently), there is one important question to ask. Who is actually being cheated?

College students pay for their education. If they do not do the work assigned and do not learn what their instructors teach, what have they bought for their money? A degree?

The above answer does not suffice. If the student has gotten by and not gotten the education the degree represents, there is a good chance that jobs down the road might turn out to be short term. Employers hire those with qualifications, expecting them to know something or to be able to learn the skills required for the job. A student who has wasted college years by plagiarizing is likely to find a struggle ahead in any chosen career.

When students do not do their own work, they do not gain from their college classes. They do not learn the material, and they do not learn how to learn either.

If I decided to try a new surfing technique, what could I possibly accomplish by finding someone else to go through the trial and error of figuring out how it is done? The short answer is that I gain nothing at all. The same holds true for anyone who does not do whatever work is required to master a new skill or remember new information.

Happily, students here – even those who do know about Turnitin.com - are just too smart to waste their opportunities on plagiarism, which is a shortcut leading directly to a dead end. They value the time they spend on their education, knowing that when they do hold degrees in their hands, they will have earned them. When they go forward to their careers, they succeed because they have learned to learn and gained a good education by virtue of their own effort along the way.

See you next time the breeze is cool, the sun is up, and the waves roll into view! ‘Til then, hang ten!