Who Said What to Whom?

Roxy Writer here, coming to you from the Stone Writing Center @ Del Mar College.

I remember a grammarian, a woman with whom I worked closely at a time when I had to relearn grammar for job-related reasons. I was confused about the rules governing the use of “who” and “whom.” Mrs. B. was a woman who knew the rules and, therefore, the person to whom I went with my question.

The answer she gave me is that if I could substitute the word “he” in the sentence, then “who” would be the right word. If I could substitute the word “him,” then “whom” would be correct. Her succinct advice was easy to remember, too, since the endings were about the same: “he/who” and “him/whom,” a vowel ending for “he” and for “who” (e and o) and the same consonant (m) for “him” and “whom.”

I did have to review the grammatical terms, the subject of a clause (he) and the object of a clause (him); but mostly I played around with rearranging sentences in my mind, testing the sound of “who” and “whom,” verifying which word, either “he” or “him,” could be substituted. Once I figured out that I had to turn the words in my sentences around to make the substitutions, it became easy to pick the correct word when using “who” or “whom.” For example, if I said that “Dave is the man who won the race,” it wouldn’t sound at all right if I said “Dave is the man - him won the race” but is fine if I say “Dave is the man – he won the race.” At certain times, there can be some confusion when a clause is tricky or convoluted, but, generally, the simple substitution works.

I remember Mrs. B. for many other reasons and will always be grateful for her explanation. Her answer to my question has served me well over the years since then.

Roxy’s tip: If you can substitute “he,” then use “who,” not “whom.” If you can substitute “him,” then use “whom,” and not “who.”

See you next time the breeze is cool, the sun is up, and the waves roll into view! My next entry is coming soon. ‘Til then, hang ten!